January 5, 2011

First Day of Teaching

Today was my first day in the classroom- my classroom where I am the teacher and run the show. 

I think it went well.  They laughed at my jokes, seemed to be connecting, and were participating with my questions.  It doesn't hurt that I'm stubborn and will wait for them to answer rather than move forward.

I have to say that I got pretty shook up before I got there.  I got there at 10 AM- my class didn't start until 1115- and I has plans to print my attendance roster and pick up my syllabi.  I got my roster and was shocked when I saw 140 students.  I was only supposed to have 100.

It was one of those things that makes you panic, a wrench in the works, etc. 

But I got over it and now there's a good chance that I'll have a grader for the class.  I don't know how I feel about that, actually I do- I'm not a fan.  I'm glad to be able to share some of the work, grading is a lot of unfun, laborous time-intensive busyness, time spent better elsewhere.  All that aside I did look forward to running my own room entirely.  Now I'll have another graduate student in there, a colleague who is will witness all of my follies, all of my 'and um...'s, my political incorrectness, mistakes, and awkward silences.  Somewhere in there will be glory and awesomeness but it isn't as important if someone witnesses this as what might be said if someone sees me screwing up. 

I know that I'm overthinking this.

I also know that if I get a grader and whoever it is I will have to make a point to foster camaraderie and a team mentality with them early on in the relationship. 

Didn't get to exercise today- I was not entirely in the mood and it was also raining so the dog and I went out for a quick walk.  I did say inside the calorie range today but I have to say: I am hungry all day and not that kind of 'man, I could go for a sandwich right now' but in the eat dinner at 420 in the afternoon or hungry within an hour of eating a meal.  Is this some kind of detox?  Will these feelings get better because it really stinks to constantly feel like I am going to eat my hand or be continually nauseous all day.

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