June 30, 2012

Days 6 and 7

Last night I didn't really have time to post because I was too busy having awesome friends over at my house.  Charlie and Ana are great girls that I know from CF Tally and over the past six months I have become close to them in a very specific kind of way.  CF breeds a very unique kind of trust- not necessarily an emotional vulnerability from pouring your heart to someone but a different kind of risk.  You're letting these people see you sweat and grunt and scream.

And fail.  Sometimes your body doesn't do what you think it can and you bail on the weight.  Or you fall or you cry or you throw up. 

Or maybe you just want throw up.

But sometimes you win.  Sometimes you reach a personal best and these people, like Charlie and Ana, are your witnesses.  They high-five you and recognize that you just did something amazing.  They see you do the things that you had no idea that you could do.  And you see it in them too.  They see your body change and your mind develop into someone you only really recognize when you're at CF and with these people. 

Really, it's pretty awesome.  So for days 6 and 7 my positivity post is about how these people are witnessing changes in me I never knew about and it is incredible.

And I am their witness as well.

June 28, 2012

Day 5- Some Nights

Day five: this song is great.  The video is a bit bizarre (okay, it's very weird).  However, the song is great.  The chorus reads as follows:
"But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights, I don't know... (come on)"

Something about those lyrics really sit well with me right now.

Today I went to hot yoga and later to CrossFit.  I've also kept Paleo for the past two days and I feel awesome, albeit hungry sometimes.  My friend Charlie gave me some protein power to drink for times when I need a pick-me-up. 

Good friends.

June 27, 2012

Day Four

I am grateful for today's WOD (Workout of the Day at CF).  It was ab work, overhead squats and sprinting.  Quick and dirty and awesome. 

Sometimes I go to CrossFit and it great and sometimes I go and it is amazing.  The atmosphere, everyone is hyping each other up, people are yelling at each other, cheering them to their best.  I love it there.  I especially love it when it's like that. 

Excellent WOD.

June 26, 2012

Day 3- Hot Yoga

So I'm into my third day of positive blog posts and I like where this is going.

Today's post is about yoga.  I've blogged about yoga before- why I love it and how I got into it but today I want to write specifically about my relationship with hot yoga. 

Funny- B asked me if hot yoga was sexy yoga.  I told him that yes, yes it was.

What I like best about hot yoga is what it teaches me about myself and my body.  If I'm not feeding it properly or working to maintain a healthy lifestyle, nothing tells me faster than hot yoga.  My machine has to be working in top shape to endure 90 minutes of sweat, humidity, and fluid loss.  Lately I've been sitting through large portions of the class.  I've felt nauseated, weak, low blood sugar, as well as angry with my lack of stamina, frustrated that what I have done previously now seems very difficult, and struggling to finish.  

But this is why I love hot yoga.  I love it because it tells me when I'm not treating myself right.  See, I can muscle my way through a CrossFit class because it is 45 minutes of crazy adrenaline.  Zumba is all dancy fun all the dancy time, and I'm not running right now.  Yoga is too internal and too focused on inner thoughts for me to escape any kind of evidence that I'm not treating my body exactly right.  It's like looking in a mirror of all of my habits or past behaviors.  Hot yoga makes me acknowledge all of those things. 

And that's why I love it.

I think by Thursday I'll be feeling a lot better in my yoga classes. 

June 25, 2012

Day 2

Today I got new running shoes.

They are awesome.

Tonight I did back squats and I am in love with back squats.  Want a nice butt?  Pilates and yoga are great but (pun!) back squats are where it's at.

I'm grateful for the rain.  Looks like B's family is getting the 'rain with a name' that they are fond of- they're in agriculture.

I'm grateful that I'm still hopeful.

June 24, 2012

Day 1

Things that I like about today include:
--- the homemade macaroni and cheese that I made; it is amazing
--- good scavenger hunt dates with B
--- the cool weather that allows me to open all the windows for the first time in more than a month
--- B going to camp.  He loves camp and he's happy to be a chaperone this year and I'm happy that he enjoying himself.

June 22, 2012

It's 'facebook official.'

I have a boyfriend.  He's really cool and thinks I'm cool and I think we're cool together.  On the blog I'll refer to him as B.  I'm still not exactly sure when the best time will be to show him the blog.  I thought about it yesterday and went back to peruse my previous months' posts. 

It was a whole lot of this:

Paleo, paleo, I heart paleo, paleo is the devil within me, dysfunctional relationship with food, paleo is awesome, exercise, exercise, exercise, more about how paleo makes me nuts, etc.

Now, this blog is titled "Genuine Efforts: Attempts at healthy living" so writing about my weird love/hate relationship with Paleo, food, exercise, CrossFit, binging, running, and how awesome I am on any given day fits the theme here in my own corner of the internet. 

But I don't like that this place has become kind of whiny and redundant.  So, I'm going to make some new goals for this blog.  Starting on Sunday (because I can only start something like this on the first day of the month, January 1, or a Sunday!!) I'm going to make a point to post everyday for a month about things I like about myself, things that I do well, and other general accomplishments.  Firstly, this will be good because it will shift the tone of this blog from one of exorcising my demons to one that focuses on how and why I do good things for myself.  Second, I think writing like this will be more fun and fulfilling and I think that when I do decide to introduce B to my blog it will feel positive and overall more balanced.

Also, I've been feeling really crafty lately (in a Martha kind of way, not in a Wiley Coyote kind of way) so maybe I'll also be posting pictures of things I make.

It'll be a good kind of change.

June 14, 2012

Running in Central Park

The blog has been quiet because I have been busy.  I spent two weeks traveling the northeast with my parents.  We went to New York City, Newport, Norfolk, Boston, and Colonial Williamsburg.  It was busy and didn't leave a ton of time for structured exercise, beyond all the walking. 

But I did get to have an awesome run in Central Park.  I ran a 5K in 36:52.  I thought that was pretty respectable for not having run in the six weeks before.  I didn't know much about the paths in Central Park before I got there so I just planned on following other runners to get an idea of where I could run and what I should avoid.  Runners are cool like that.

So, I see a group of runners and decide to follow them.  I get into the groove and I'm having a good time and all of the sudden I see people on either side of us wearing green t-shirts saying things like "Way to go" or "You're doing great, keep it up." 

Turns out I had joined a race!  I love races.  They are a great atmosphere; everyone running in them wants to be there.  I kept going with them, ran through the finish line, they even shared their water with me despite the fact that I didn't have any numbers.  Then I finished up my 5K.

I had a great time.  The park was beautiful and everyone was in a good mood.  It was a Saturday morning so the park was closed to cars and the weather- an unusual cold front that kept the mornings in the 60s- made the run amazing.

Only downside: the next two days I hobbled around because my stupid foot gave me such trouble. 

Things with the young man are still going well.  I told him about the blog but asked him to not to read it yet.  When I'm ready for that then it will happen.  I'm really trying to take things slowly and deliberately and not just rush through everything because of how good it feels.  It's a challenge. 

Actually, it's really hard not to try and manipulate things to go faster.  There are two things working in my favor: this young man treats me better than anyone ever has before.  Really, if this doesn't work out then he has spoiled me for someone else.  The second thing working in my favor is that I have decided to let him- as much as I can- dictate the pace of the relationship.  So far this is working out really well.  It has led to some occasional confusion on my part but overall I am satisfied with this decision. 

Slow and steady?  No: slow and with purpose.