March 12, 2011

I'm a terrible 'health nut'


I would not normally call myself a 'health nut' but Annie Sue at .turning pages. likes to call me one. 

However, I'm not a very good health nut, in fact I may be a terrible one.

Here are a list of foods- incredibly healthy, life-sustaining, nutrition powerhouses- that I just will not eat:

1. Nuts, unless mixed into brownies or something with cream cheese frosting.  I will, however, eat nut butters.
2. Nut butters that are not peanut (yes, I know technically peanut is not a nut, it's a legume).
3. Kale.  It's awful, no matter how you prepare it.
4. Raspberries, they're just too tart unless pureed and on top of a cheesecake.
5. Sardines.  Every health blog advises eating them because of their healthy fats, nutritious protein, and low mercury levels (comparative to fish like tuna and salmon). Michael Pollan thinks they're awesome.  Real Simple Magazine featured them as one of the top 30 health foods.  They're gross and I don't want to touch them- this also goes for anchovies.
6. Sweet potatoes.  They taste just fine covered in butter, cinnamon, and sugar but when plain I find them to be.... how do I put this delicately?  Not good.  I see people all the time eat them plain or with just the smallest smidge of butter and declare that they're delicious.  They're not.  Those bloggers are either lying or being paid by the Sweet Potato Farmers of America.
7. Dark chocolate.  It is fine but I'd rather eat milk any time of day.
8. Edamame- just not my thing.
9. Juice.  I have a thing about juice and many people know this.  I think apple juice tastes like children (I used to say that if I bit into a preschooler they'd taste just like apple juice).  Grape juice tastes like communion.  Orange juice tastes like sickness.  I do like cranberry juice when mixed with club soda but I do not like it plain.  Go figure.
10. Greek yogurt.  The stuff is okay, loaded with protein, probiotics, and calcium.  People seem to really like it but I'd rather eat a Yoplait Thick and Creamy.

So when I look at this list I just think that maybe I'm not so healthy after all.

4 comments:

Jennifer.Sullivan said...

Granted, you may not eat some of the newer "fad" foods, but you are very good at incorporating vegetables and leafy greens into your diet. Don't discount those efforts. As someone who cannot even stand to chew lettuce, I have been jealous over the years at how easily you can make (and enjoy!) healthy food right at home. Goodness knows I'd barely survive without the frozen aisle and a microwave. You are indeed a "health nut" (even though you don't eat nuts.....).

Elizabeth Dean said...

LOL. Hilarious Jenn. Yes, I do eat leafy greens and other fruits and vegetables with ease. I'm one of the lucky .2% that likes salad without salad dressing.

And you're right- you wouldn't survive without the microwave and the frozen food aisle. And I don't mean to discount my other (sometimes very) healthy habits but I am pretty uninterested in a lot of newer 'healthy' foods. I don't feel the need to eat almond butter or sunflower butter- peanut works just fine. Kale tastes bitter to me, but you're right, I eat spinach other greens almost everyday. The same goes for Greek yogurt- I don't feel the need because I've got yogurt that I really enjoy and I just do not feel the need to change.

I just think that it's funny when I read some of these blogs, what with their sunflower butter and their oat bran and chia seeds, etc.

annie said...

Am I the closet health nut? Because I love raspberries, dark chocolate, and juice... YUM! (Also, the idea of you biting into a preschool child = disgusting, alarming, terrifying, and a visual image I can never erase. Well done.)

Elizabeth Dean said...

LOL- thanks Annie. Yes, you might be a closet health nut. I was always under the impression that you were a healthy eater with a significant sweet tooth.

Call me when you eat sardines though- I'll want to see that.