Things are going well. I'm staying in calorie range but still hungry all of the time.
I keep meaning to go jogging but am struggling to find the willpower. In the afternoons I get very hungry, and then knowing I have to wait several hours to eat again, I'd rather take a nap then feel sickly all afternoon.
In other news: I got a new car today! A 2006 Ford Taurus with only 31,000 miles. This car is cherry! I've named it Aunt Libby. It has leather seats, tinted windows, real comfortable drive, and I am very excited to be driving a new car.
January 8, 2011
January 6, 2011
need sleep
so tired. long day. two classes and spent the evening working on my lecture for tomorrow.
January 5, 2011
First Day of Teaching
Today was my first day in the classroom- my classroom where I am the teacher and run the show.
I think it went well. They laughed at my jokes, seemed to be connecting, and were participating with my questions. It doesn't hurt that I'm stubborn and will wait for them to answer rather than move forward.
I have to say that I got pretty shook up before I got there. I got there at 10 AM- my class didn't start until 1115- and I has plans to print my attendance roster and pick up my syllabi. I got my roster and was shocked when I saw 140 students. I was only supposed to have 100.
It was one of those things that makes you panic, a wrench in the works, etc.
But I got over it and now there's a good chance that I'll have a grader for the class. I don't know how I feel about that, actually I do- I'm not a fan. I'm glad to be able to share some of the work, grading is a lot of unfun, laborous time-intensive busyness, time spent better elsewhere. All that aside I did look forward to running my own room entirely. Now I'll have another graduate student in there, a colleague who is will witness all of my follies, all of my 'and um...'s, my political incorrectness, mistakes, and awkward silences. Somewhere in there will be glory and awesomeness but it isn't as important if someone witnesses this as what might be said if someone sees me screwing up.
I know that I'm overthinking this.
I also know that if I get a grader and whoever it is I will have to make a point to foster camaraderie and a team mentality with them early on in the relationship.
Didn't get to exercise today- I was not entirely in the mood and it was also raining so the dog and I went out for a quick walk. I did say inside the calorie range today but I have to say: I am hungry all day and not that kind of 'man, I could go for a sandwich right now' but in the eat dinner at 420 in the afternoon or hungry within an hour of eating a meal. Is this some kind of detox? Will these feelings get better because it really stinks to constantly feel like I am going to eat my hand or be continually nauseous all day.
I think it went well. They laughed at my jokes, seemed to be connecting, and were participating with my questions. It doesn't hurt that I'm stubborn and will wait for them to answer rather than move forward.
I have to say that I got pretty shook up before I got there. I got there at 10 AM- my class didn't start until 1115- and I has plans to print my attendance roster and pick up my syllabi. I got my roster and was shocked when I saw 140 students. I was only supposed to have 100.
It was one of those things that makes you panic, a wrench in the works, etc.
But I got over it and now there's a good chance that I'll have a grader for the class. I don't know how I feel about that, actually I do- I'm not a fan. I'm glad to be able to share some of the work, grading is a lot of unfun, laborous time-intensive busyness, time spent better elsewhere. All that aside I did look forward to running my own room entirely. Now I'll have another graduate student in there, a colleague who is will witness all of my follies, all of my 'and um...'s, my political incorrectness, mistakes, and awkward silences. Somewhere in there will be glory and awesomeness but it isn't as important if someone witnesses this as what might be said if someone sees me screwing up.
I know that I'm overthinking this.
I also know that if I get a grader and whoever it is I will have to make a point to foster camaraderie and a team mentality with them early on in the relationship.
Didn't get to exercise today- I was not entirely in the mood and it was also raining so the dog and I went out for a quick walk. I did say inside the calorie range today but I have to say: I am hungry all day and not that kind of 'man, I could go for a sandwich right now' but in the eat dinner at 420 in the afternoon or hungry within an hour of eating a meal. Is this some kind of detox? Will these feelings get better because it really stinks to constantly feel like I am going to eat my hand or be continually nauseous all day.
January 4, 2011
Walking
When I published my goals I stated that I wanted to do zumba at least twice a week.
That hasn't happened this week.
And there's a good reason: my gym membership expired.
I love Art of the Catwalk but in December my membership expired and as a graduate student I must wait to renew my membership until my student loans come in next week.
So in the mean time I'm walking my dog in the afternoons for 35 minutes. It is not the same as taking a zumba class but it is helping me build back my cardiovascular strength, burn some calories, and enjoy some fresh air. I suppose I do not need to justify walking in lieu of zumba, but since this blog is about accountability it seemed like a good idea.
In other news, classes started today and I start teaching tomorrow. I'm nervous but also really excited. I loved so many of my college professors and hope that I can inspire that love of learning in some of my students. I want my students to know that they are participants in history, that history has continued consequences, and that requesting that they learn history is not some draconian punishment meant only to frustrate them (as many of them believe).
I did well with calories staying below 1700. I tell you, that may sound like a lot but I am hungry a lot. I ate lunch and was hungry again 90 minutes later. I took a nap. Woke up, walked the dog, and at 410 decided that I wanted my dinner right then and would have my last mini-meal at 8pm.
Being hungry stinks.
That hasn't happened this week.
And there's a good reason: my gym membership expired.
I love Art of the Catwalk but in December my membership expired and as a graduate student I must wait to renew my membership until my student loans come in next week.
So in the mean time I'm walking my dog in the afternoons for 35 minutes. It is not the same as taking a zumba class but it is helping me build back my cardiovascular strength, burn some calories, and enjoy some fresh air. I suppose I do not need to justify walking in lieu of zumba, but since this blog is about accountability it seemed like a good idea.
In other news, classes started today and I start teaching tomorrow. I'm nervous but also really excited. I loved so many of my college professors and hope that I can inspire that love of learning in some of my students. I want my students to know that they are participants in history, that history has continued consequences, and that requesting that they learn history is not some draconian punishment meant only to frustrate them (as many of them believe).
I did well with calories staying below 1700. I tell you, that may sound like a lot but I am hungry a lot. I ate lunch and was hungry again 90 minutes later. I took a nap. Woke up, walked the dog, and at 410 decided that I wanted my dinner right then and would have my last mini-meal at 8pm.
Being hungry stinks.
January 3, 2011
The TRPC
The TRPC is the Tallahassee Rifle and Pistol Club and that is where I spent my morning. Over the weekend my dad gave me a .22 caliber pistol and showed me some basic gun safety.
Remember how I said I wanted to learn how to shoot? Well today I got that opportunity to start learning how to handle a gun. My uncle took me over there and began to teach me how to hold, load, aim, and fire a weapon.
Let me tell you this: shooting a gun is fun! It is hard, explosive power coming out of your hands and I want to do it again. It is a rush of adrenaline for sure. Additionally, I don't know about other people's experiences but I had never been around a gun before. My father does not hunt and I did not grow up around weapons. I remember that my dad had a shotgun in his closet when I was younger but my brother picked it up, and under the weight of it promptly dropped it, ripping a hole in my parents' comforter. That gun was gone by sunset and never graced our door again.
Anyways, being able to shoot a gun today was kind of like being in a movie. All of my previous experience with guns was seeing them in cinema or on television, almost in a mythic way, always seeing, never handling. Today that changed. I now know for myself how heavy they are and how difficult it is to hold a gun out in front of you for more than a few minutes. I saw the smoke, smelled the gun powder, heard the loud crack of my gun as well as other people's. Today I got to interact with something that few people in my social sphere get to experience.
As far as the rest of the day, things went really well. I met with a friend, Meghan, who looked over my syllabus, my two lectures, and talked with me about my expectations as well as those of my students. I really appreciated her taking the time to give me some advice.
I won't bore you with the details of my diet but I will tell you that I managed to stay under 1700 calories. I experience significant hunger in the afternoon and did give in to the temptation of quick sugar but I worked it into my day's eating. I did not get home early enough to go for a run but I did take Jackson on a 35 minute walk around the neighborhood.
Remember how I said I wanted to learn how to shoot? Well today I got that opportunity to start learning how to handle a gun. My uncle took me over there and began to teach me how to hold, load, aim, and fire a weapon.
Let me tell you this: shooting a gun is fun! It is hard, explosive power coming out of your hands and I want to do it again. It is a rush of adrenaline for sure. Additionally, I don't know about other people's experiences but I had never been around a gun before. My father does not hunt and I did not grow up around weapons. I remember that my dad had a shotgun in his closet when I was younger but my brother picked it up, and under the weight of it promptly dropped it, ripping a hole in my parents' comforter. That gun was gone by sunset and never graced our door again.
Anyways, being able to shoot a gun today was kind of like being in a movie. All of my previous experience with guns was seeing them in cinema or on television, almost in a mythic way, always seeing, never handling. Today that changed. I now know for myself how heavy they are and how difficult it is to hold a gun out in front of you for more than a few minutes. I saw the smoke, smelled the gun powder, heard the loud crack of my gun as well as other people's. Today I got to interact with something that few people in my social sphere get to experience.
As far as the rest of the day, things went really well. I met with a friend, Meghan, who looked over my syllabus, my two lectures, and talked with me about my expectations as well as those of my students. I really appreciated her taking the time to give me some advice.
I won't bore you with the details of my diet but I will tell you that I managed to stay under 1700 calories. I experience significant hunger in the afternoon and did give in to the temptation of quick sugar but I worked it into my day's eating. I did not get home early enough to go for a run but I did take Jackson on a 35 minute walk around the neighborhood.
January 2, 2011
The Twenty-Ninth Year
Being born on New Year's Day brings extra weight to the day. Not only are you starting a new calendar year but with each New Year's Eve you put away one year of your life and begin both a new year for the world but a new year for yourself as well.
Yesterday I turned 29. I can hardly believe it. I do not feel 29 and I certainly do not feel that I look 29. I don't have gray hair, a genetic trait that I somehow managed to sidestep. My mother swears that my grandmother went gray in her twenties and thirties. I never knew; both my grandmother and my mother have been dying their hair the duration of my life. I also don't really have wrinkles, my sister is getting crow's feet at 27. However, I did begin to notice the parantheses around my mouth that some people call 'smile lines.' A friend of mine told me I had 'aged well,' to which I replied that I did not even realize that I was aging yet. I suppose my naivete is what adds to my looking younger.
Well, with the New Year comes resolutions. I do not like the idea of 'resolutions' because the root word is 'resolute' meaning hard and unchangeable, unbreakable, completely rigid and uncapable of compromise. Folks, that just won't work for me. People are complicated; situations change. What works for me in theory in January may be absolutely impossible come March. So what I have decided to do, and what I will share publicly with any readers I may have, are my Goals for My 29th Year. I have put a lot of thought into them, certainly more thought then I have ever put into something similar in year's past. I tried to be very specific.
So I hope it is clear that I am planning on a 'Banner Year' and looking forward to this last year of my third decade.
Yesterday I turned 29. I can hardly believe it. I do not feel 29 and I certainly do not feel that I look 29. I don't have gray hair, a genetic trait that I somehow managed to sidestep. My mother swears that my grandmother went gray in her twenties and thirties. I never knew; both my grandmother and my mother have been dying their hair the duration of my life. I also don't really have wrinkles, my sister is getting crow's feet at 27. However, I did begin to notice the parantheses around my mouth that some people call 'smile lines.' A friend of mine told me I had 'aged well,' to which I replied that I did not even realize that I was aging yet. I suppose my naivete is what adds to my looking younger.
Well, with the New Year comes resolutions. I do not like the idea of 'resolutions' because the root word is 'resolute' meaning hard and unchangeable, unbreakable, completely rigid and uncapable of compromise. Folks, that just won't work for me. People are complicated; situations change. What works for me in theory in January may be absolutely impossible come March. So what I have decided to do, and what I will share publicly with any readers I may have, are my Goals for My 29th Year. I have put a lot of thought into them, certainly more thought then I have ever put into something similar in year's past. I tried to be very specific.
Goals for 2011
My 29th year is going to be my best!
Activities!
· Go camping at least once before the year is out!
· Go on the Outdoor Pursuits New Moon Paddle 4/3 $15
· Take a road trip! Atlanta, Gatlinburg, Daytona, Ashville, etc!
· See more movies: see one movie per month. Make time to see culturally relevant, interesting, and fun films.
· Take an art class at the Union: watercolor/acrylic painting, Wednesday nights, $60
· Learn how to shoot a gun, maybe take up skeet shooting.
Literature!
· Read one fiction book for pleasure each month. Six books should be from classic literature, six should be recently published works. Despite my large reading commitments I should be able to fit in one book a month. Reading broadens my imagination and my overall perspective. It allows me to be more empathetic about other people’s life experiences. It also gives me something to converse with people about which may help me make friends or deepen other relationships.
January:
February:
March:
April:
May:
June:
July:
August:
September:
October:
November:
December:
· Book Club: I should make a point to attend book club at least four times this year. I may not always have the time or want to read their selections but I should try to meet more young women my age and book club is a great way to do so.
· Write a short story! I would like to imagine what it is like to be my dog, Jackson, and will write a short story from his perspective.
Blogging!
· Cultivate and style Genuine Efforts to be a stylish, easy-to-navigate blog.
· Blog at least five times a week.
· Tell friends and family about my blog, try to increase public accountability and readership.
Physical!
· Get back into Art of the Catwalk. Once student loans have arrived renew my membership and commit to Zumba two times a week (minimum standard).
· YOGA: I enjoy Yoga and just because Jessa left should not mean that I can just walk away from my practice. Therefore, I want to commit to myself to at least one Yoga class a week. It can be at the Catwalk, the Leach, or at Journeys. If Emily’s style does not work for me there are other options, other instructors. When I practice Yoga I feel fitter, stronger, leaner, more lithe and supple. I enjoy the identity of being able to say that I am a ‘Yogi’ therefore I must attend one class a week.
· JOGGING: I enjoy running and enjoying calling myself a ‘runner.’ Therefore I must actually run. I am committing to jogging three times a week (Saturday, Sunday, and Tuesdays are good days for the spring semester).
· RACING: Run at least three 5K races over the course of the year. Also, run the Springtime Tallahassee 10K and the Turkey Trot 10K.
· Half-Marathon: I can do this. There are a variety of different half-marathons in October, November, and December (Tom Walker Memorial Half-Marathon in Gainesville during November being one). I must pick one and commit to the training schedule outlined in You Can Run a Half-Marathon in order to succeed at this goal.
Healthy Living!
· Strength Training: I have a Total Home Gym. I have a gym membership and free membership to the student health center. I have time. I am committing to strength training two times a week. Firstly I will start on making my arms, shoulders, and core stronger. I am putting this under Healthy Living because it will add to the overall quality of my life, not just my abilities as an athlete.
· Follow the 400 Calorie Fix for at least six days a week. Meals should be no more than 420 calories (breakfasts are usually larger because of coffee) with a maximum caloric range of 1600-1700 calories. This means four 400 calorie meals a day.
· Keep a food diary. Some entries will be blogged and therefore made public. However, it is conceivable that there will not always be time to blog everything I eat but there is time to keep a private food diary on paper. In addition to tracking my food and calories, I will keep a record of my exercise in this diary as well.
· Continue to see the nutrition counselor on campus. It is a free service to me covered my fees as a student. Meeting with Heather will encourage accountability as well as understanding my complicated relationship with food and exercise.
Financial!
· Using the 400 Calorie Fix, plan meals ahead and create a grocery list accordingly. A grocery list will help me save money.
· Do not eat out more than twice a week. Not only is it additional calories but it costs much more money than when I prepare my own meals.
· Saving: This spring I will be making more money than I have ever made before as a student. I should have something to show for it. Each month I will save $200 ($50 a week) so that by April I will have $800 dollars saved. If I am employed over the summer I should try to do something similar. I will certainly be employed over the fall and should again try to save $800 over the semester. I am committing to having a $2000 ‘nest egg’ by the end of 2011, barring that there is no emergency or crisis that would require me to use my savings earlier than anticipated. One way to save money will be to limit eating out and impulse shopping.
Charitable!
· Join ALTRUSA or an equivalent service club this spring. Not only will this help me to perform needed services but it will also help me to meet new people, cultivate friendships, place roots in my community, and network.
· Church donations: I am committing to a church donation of $10 a month ($120 a year). By planning this donation ahead of time, I will prevent myself from forgetting to get cash until the collection plate is being passed. The church does good work and I should make a point to participate in making this work possible.
· Preschool: Twice in the spring semester and twice in the fall semester I commit to bringing a charitable donation of snacks and juice worth between $10 and $15 each time. If I shop sales and plan ahead I should be able to contribute several boxes of snacks this way.
· In the summer months I commit to a onetime $10-$15 donation to the Heifer International Project and a $20 donation to the ASPCA.
Spiritual!
· Commit to reading the Bible throughout the year using the www.biblestudytools.com daily reading schedule or a similar schedule.
· I am committing to a deeper prayer life. This will not be evidenced in a diary or journal but rather a written agreement to pray more often and pray more clearly so that the things on my heart are known to God and that maybe I can know something about the things of God’s heart.
· Show appreciation: God’s creation is infinite and vast. I can do my part to acknowledge the wonderful contributions that others make around me by sending cards. I commit to four cards a month.
So I hope it is clear that I am planning on a 'Banner Year' and looking forward to this last year of my third decade.
October 4, 2010
More Coming Soon
I doubt anyone is still reading but I want everyone to know that I am going to start blogging again tomorrow! Things have been incredibly busy these past few weeks and my eating has certain successes but then certain failures. I exercise sometimes 5-6 days a week but then some weeks because of scheduleing only 2-3 times a week. This is the reality of my life and regular commitments. I'm sure everyone understands.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow!
I'm looking forward to tomorrow!
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