April 1, 2011

A Question

My first 10K in almost a year is tomorrow morning.  I am hydrated, carbed up, iPod is charging, my clothes are all picked out, shoes laid out, camera ready, and my awesome parents are getting up a 'zero dark thirty' as my dad always says to come watch me start and finish and then take me out to breakfast.  Aren't my parents great to come all this way and be so supportive?  Seriously, it's impressive.

There is one question that is lurking though: what if I come in last?  I mean, out of a few hundred participants, what if I come in dead last?  As in, the very last person to come past the finish line.  Last.

Really... what happens if that happens? 

I'm ultimately not sure how I'd feel about that.  However, I do know that if I let worrying about coming in last prevent me from participating at all then I am not mature enough to run.  Someone has to be last.  What makes me so special that I should somehow be excempt from that?  Also, if I let myself be ashamed of even the possibility of being last, well, I diminish the 'genuine efforts' and sincere attempts of anyone who actually does come in last, and that might be me.  If I came in last would that take away from my training jogs or my zumba classes, or the weight I've lost since January?  No. 

I don't know what will happen tomorrow but I do know that I am excited.  I also know that no matter what I have worked really hard since the New Year and that alone does not make me awesome, it makes me Super Awesome.

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