Shopping at Dillard's

Recently my husband and I tried to return some gifts to Dillard's.  Our experience was some of the worst customer service treatment ever.  I decided to email them about my experiences; you can read my email here.

Dear Customer Service,
My name is Elizabeth Worley, I just married this June, and I used Dillard's as one of my wedding registries.  I wanted to make an inquiry into returning a few gifts and tell you about a frustrating Dillard's experience last Saturday (March 22, 2014) at the Gainesville, FL store.  My husband and I went to return some unneeded wedding gifts and were incredibly appalled at the frustrating return service.  My husband and I went to return three navy blue Fiesta bowls and one Oneida hostess set, all of which we registered for and either received duplicates or more than enough.  The Oneida set was sent by a woman named Kim Bevis and we did not have the receipt anymore.  Also, we did not have a receipt for the bowls but they still had the yellow tag on them.  The assistant manager and customer service rep would not let us return any of the items for store credit.  We knew we didn't have the receipts but we expected store credit.

First, why could we not return the Fiestaware bowls?  They had the yellow tags on them but apparently it was after 90 days so the manager would not allow the return.  Now, I understand this policy if it is for a seasonal item, like a Christmas plate, but this is for an item still being sold at full price at all of your stores (Cobalt blue Fiestaware Gusto bowls, $10).  The items still had the yellow tag on them so we could prove they came from your department chain.  I found this 90 day return policy to be really inconvenient.  We registered for these items as gifts.  Gifts for many married couples come in the months before and after the wedding.  When someone bought an item is not always when they give that item to the recipient couple.  This 90 day policy is useful for Dillard's and regular customers, but for registry customers is very short sighted because the time from purchase and the time that we receive the item can often be very different from one another.  The family that gave us this gift didn't give us a gift receipt; they probably did not think they needed to because the yellow tags should be proof enough.

Second, the manager would not consider allowing us to return the Oneida hostess set (Oneida Dover Hostess 6-piece set $50) because we did not have the receipt or yellow sticker.  We did not expect to return it for cash because we did not have a receipt, but we did expect to return it for store credit.  The manager said that without the yellow ticket they would not return it but then I asked if online purchases got a yellow ticket and he said no, so there was no way for us to return this item without a ticket that we could not have gotten in the first place because it was a gift that was purchased online.  Both the flatware and Fiestware continue to sell for full price, according to your website.

Third, we were a couple on a wedding registry.  You can see proof that somebody purchased that item if you would only look at our registry.  Right there is shows that an item was purchased and I'm sure with some basic research it would tell you who bought that item and for how much.  The store had a registry machine right there but would not look at it even though I asked them to.

My fourth complaint is my overall general treatment at the store.  The customer service rep was fine, clearly overwhelmed at what we were asking her to do, so I asked to speak with a manager.  I worked retail for several years while I finished my college degrees and understood that managers were usually the best step because they have the authority to make these kinds of decisions.  The assistant manager came over and he really gave my husband and myself a runaround.  When I asked for the corporate phone number and the name of the manager he did give it to me but told me that my overall efforts would be useless because the store manager was out on vacation (he said it was her first day of a two-week vacation) and that any complaints would just come back to him and he would give me the same answer.  I felt like he was trying to discourage me from voicing my frustration by attempting to portray it as fruitless and a waste of time.  I hope this email is not a waste of time.  I live in Southwest Rural Georgia and while I lived near a Dillard's when I was engaged, now that I am married there is no Dillard's near me.  We made a special trip to return these items at great inconvenience to us.  I said this to the manager as well but he was not interested in hearing about my experience or special trip to this store.

I hope this issue can be resolved quickly.  Again, I wasn't asking for cash, just store credits.  And while the stickers may have said the items were passed a particular time, I continue to receive wedding gifts and have no control over when an item is purchased and when it is then given to me, no couple does.  I feel like this places an undue burden on wedding registry couples and that other department stores would be more accommodating.  I do not think I will be shopping at Dillard's and could not advise other couples to register there.

Good grief, here again.

Am I the only person who can go from running 13.1 miles, having a personal best, and then less than a month later struggling to get through 1 mile?

Tonight I barely finished 1 mile.  I was jiggly and sore.  My pants weren't fitting right and my bra was too loose to be effective.  Really, any excuse was what I wanted to get out of there.

I'm supposed to run in a race next week.  A 5K or a half-marathon option.

How can I possibly be ready for a half marathon if tonight was so frustratingly difficult?

On a different note: Brandon found some triathlons for me to do this summer.

Do you have an anthem?

I've often said to my family, and now to Brandon, that when I'm dead and gone I want one particular song to be played as I am carried out in the casket.

It is not a funeral song.

It is not a church song.

It isn't even a sad song.

Instead, it is a triumphant anthem.  It is Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now."



If you don't know this Queen song then take a few minutes and be transformed, not only by Freddie Mercury's voice and the overall musical stylings, but the pulse of the song.  The energy of this song is all up, up, up.

I always listen to this song before races.  It never fails to put me in a good mood and to make me feel like I can take on the world.

Readers: do you have an anthem?  A power song?  A song that unfailingly makes you feel like a conqueror?  Let me know on Facebook.

Albany Half Marathon Review

On Saturday I completed my first half marathon for 2014 and my husband, Brandon, ran his first full marathon.  This was an awesome, awesome experience that I really did not think I would be able to do even up until the night before the race.  I know that race was a success because of consistent work but also months of answered prayers.  Brandon and I prayed for bravery, courage, and the ability to run through pain.  I was particularly worried about running 8 or more miles through incredible aching or pain.  We told God we were grateful for healthy bodies and asked him to give us the courage to run through pain, if needed.

God met and exceeded our requests.

My goals were to finish, to run in less than 3 hours, to run in less than 2:55, and then, if possible, to run in less than 2:50.  I finished in 2:52:13.  I ran the first 8 miles without any walking breaks and the first 6-7 miles all around 12:08 splits.  At mile 8 I took a 2/10 walking break and another at mile 10 and mile 12 (both of those times I walked for a half mile each).

This was one of the best races I've been to as far as community support.  Church groups, clubs, and local organizations were all strategically every half mile or so to cheer runners and provide runners with water, food, and Gatorade.  They also cheered with enthusiasm; they were excited to be there.

If I would suggest anything to the Albany Half/Marathon planners for 2015 I would suggest that runners need some entertainment.  Could they get some high school marching bands or drum corps at every 4-6 miles?  I think having some entertainment would break up some of the miles into more manageable chunks

Lessons learned while sitting on the bathroom floor

Above is the fantastic marriage of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward

When training for a half marathon being able to run 10 miles is the sign that you know you can finish your race.  All kinds of things can happen on race day- crazy weather, blisters, chafing, but you know that if you can run 10 miles you can run 13.1.

On Sunday I ran 10 miles.  It took over 2 hours and I was at the very bottom of my time goal but I did it.  I quit somewhere around mile 6, turned around, and started to wait for my ride, but I dug a little deeper and started again.  My husband, who is training for his own first marathon, stayed with me for the last 3 miles.  He followed me in the car, shouting encouragement, and brought me water.  He stayed with me while I managed to run/walk the last 2 miles.  And as it got darker and colder in the last 20 minutes I was so relieved that I was not alone.

He is absolutely essential to my success.

I ran the last three miles listening to an audio book, instead of music.  I also ran thinking about a bag of cinnamon-sugar pretzels that were waiting for me when I finished.  I knew that 6 miles really wasn't enough to justify eating off plan but 10 miles got me chocolate, beer, and the sweet treat I had been saving for the end of a long run.  My dear, sweet, lumberjack of a husband brought me chocolate and drinks in the bathtub while I soaked away the soreness.  He then stayed with me while we watched 30 Rock on my iPad.  I mean the man sat on the floor of our bathroom (I cannot, for the life of me, remember when was the last time either of us cleaned that floor?) and watched Tina Fey 'Mamma Mia' Alec Baldwin while I ate Paleo-ish chocolate covered cherries and tried to remember how to move my toes.

Really, Brandon is absolutely a key component of my successful training and what I hope to be an awesome race.

Now that day he was doing for me what I had done for him.  On the days of his long runs, especially those that went poorly, I brought him drinks and sat on the floor next to the tub.  I made special trips for his Gatorade and Snickers bars.

So I started this post thinking about cinnamon pretzels and what 10 miles taught me but instead I started to think about the small lessons learned while sitting on the bathroom floor.  Sitting next to my partner I was reminded about small everyday acts of courage, bravery, and hope (mine on that day) made possible by the small, but incredibly necessary, acts of service, submission, grace, and gentleness (his in this example).  I also was reminded that in recent weeks we've each filled those roles for the other and I'm grateful for these moments.  I'm grateful that I wasn't alone this Sunday afternoon.  I'm grateful that I shared my triumph and accomplishment with Brandon and I am glad that I've served as a witness to his similar moments.

Oh, what a lovely, glorious, sweet life it is.

8 Miles? Hell yes, 8 Miles!!!

Today I ran 8 miles.  That's the longest I've ran in a year or more.  I felt strong throughout and took one walking break at mile six.  I told myself I could take one at mile 5.5 but I tricked myself into going just a bit farther.  Brandon was great and stopped by after an hour to bring me some water which was needed because at a windy 70 degrees, I was really warm and thirsty by mile four.

Now I'm sitting here feeling like I conquered something significant.  I decided a few weeks ago that if I could get to this point I could run the half marathon on March 1.  With less than a month and only three weekends between then and now I believed that if I couldn't handle eight miles then I probably wasn't ready to train up to ten or eleven miles.  Well, now I've handled it and I even thrived while doing so.  My paces are consistent and while I won't win any awards for speed I should be able to finish in a respectable sub-three hour time.  I've been telling myself that I want to stay at 13 minute miles or less and for the past month all of my runs have been between 12:15 and 12:30 averages.  I want to give myself some cushion for things like bathroom and water stops.  Thirteen minute miles would have me coming into the finish at just over 170 minutes, 10 minutes shy of three hours.  12:30 splits have me coming in at 164 minutes (2:44).  So, the best time I could hope for is around 2 hours and 45 minutes and I have a 5 minute window to come in less than a 13 minute mile.  I think if I am really consistent with my shorter runs this month that I should be able to reach those goals.

Now, a confession.

Yesterday I went to my parents' house and while in their bathroom I was met with a scale.  At my home I've removed all scales from my line of sight.  Brandon has one in the library bathroom but I never use that bathroom.

I weighed myself.

And it wasn't what I hoped it would be.  It was less than before but not something I considered really worth all of this effort or a year long goal.  And I knew I needed to make myself accountable here in my little corner of the world but also I wanted to think about what it taught me.  So, I reaffirmed what I already knew: that the scale could set my soul soaring or could weight me like a brick in a lake.  I considered all of the work I'd done all month.  I thought about the running, the swimming, and the CrossFit.  At first it all felt for naught but then it caused me to re-evaluate some things.

I consider myself a pretty clean eater.  I eat a mostly Paleo diet.  I'm flexible and Brandon and I make regular indulgences.  But seeing the scale made me wonder if I really eat as clean as I think I do.  Between three or four nights this month of parties and also the 'occasional' ice cream in the evenings I need to rethink how many treats and celebrations I use as an opportunity to sabotage myself from my real goals.  I mean, I want to have sweets and indulgences, but this month, which was largely less indulgent than the month of December, still seemed to have a lot of reasons to eat ice cream and cake and chips and pizza.

So the lesson I am going to take from this is to stop deceiving myself with the myth of clean eating 'most of the time' and really take time to decide what events are worth eating cake or milkshakes or whatever and which are not and better to stick to healthy meals.  So, yes, I tripped up on my goal of going Scale Free 2014 but it taught me a lot about last month that I can apply to the rest of the year.

    

It feels wasted.

Okay, quick update: 30 laps in the pool and 24.1 miles so far this year with more expected by the end of the week.

I knew I was addicted to the scale.  I knew I checked it everyday, before and after workouts, and after particularly arduous events in the bathroom.

I knew it gave me a sense of elation or devastation when it didn't say what I believed it needed to say.  I knew I was crippling my self-esteem with a machine that was fickle and recorded a 6 oz steak as a 2 pound gain.

I knew these things.

Which is why I had to give up the scale.  I said I will focus on athletic achievements but let me be honest: I thought this effort would lead to weight loss.  I thought that it would magically help me get over the weight loss hurdle I've faced the past 8 months as I floated up and around the same ten pounds.  I also wonder that if 11 months from now if there is no weight loss, will I feel as this year has been a waste?

As far as my weight is concerned I've always been really proud of the fact that for almost 6 years no I've maintained a 50-60 pound weight loss.  But I've never gone much further because I'll stop working out or stop tracking my eating or whatever and gain back ten pounds and then spend the next two months losing those again.  Right after the wedding I made some new progress but now I'm back up to right about where I was when Brandon and I got married.

So, not weighing myself has not changed my eating habits because it just hasn't.  I'm hungry, I eat.  I try to eat Paleo but I struggle to be consistent and to eat well in social settings and to not binge and I eat because I just love food!

So, I titled this post 'It feels wasted' because without the affirmation of the scale most of my athletic efforts and achievements feel inconsequential.  Who cares if I can lift 165 lbs 36 times if my pants are not a bit smaller for the effort?  Yes, I can now jump 12.5 inches but my stomach looks the same size so why does it matter?

Earlier this month Brandon and I took before pictures and I took a body fat measurement at my CrossFit box.  I hope that by February I (and you) and can tell a real difference.  I hope that I am faster and stronger but also smaller and I am being frankly honest about the real goal of my goals.  I hope that throughout the year, as the weight comes off, I can move away from tying so much to my body size, but if my body doesn't change I wonder if I will feel like this experiment was even worth doing?

What I've done so far...

Yesterday I ran the farthest I've run since before Thanksgiving: 5 miles.  I was very slow.

How is it that you can go at one pace pretty regularly and then all of the sudden just slow down by a minute or more per mile?  I mean, I wasn't slow just the last mile or two; I was slower each mile.  I didn't feel like I was doing more or less effort.  It didn't feel different.  Why was my pace so different?



This is my first time using a GIF in my blog!

I looked at my mileage last night and as of yesterday I have 13.66 miles done for the year.

I haven't logged any bike miles or swim laps yet.  I'm struggling to fit my laps in at the pool with the Y's hours.  I might try to swim some tonight after the WOD.  I do feel like the March 1st half marathon is still possible though; if not there is one on March 22nd as a backup in case my training gets weird.  I have exactly enough weekends to get my training in if nothing goes wrong like sickness or injury.

Thanks Cely for linking to my blog last week!  I had more than 1000 page views!

Better Box Jumps!

Yesterday I made an awesome improvement on my box jumps!  I made it to 12 1/2 inches!  This means I am already really close to reaching my New Year's goal and when I reach that I can go forward from there.

Not weighing myself everyday is really, really hard.

A lot harder than I thought.

Before I used the scale to reinforce good eating habits and exercise.  Without that I am trying to find other ways to motivate myself but struggling to find the immediate reinforcement that I want.  I think I will have to spend a lot of this year learning to trust my body and work towards heath while looking towards long-term goals; not immediate satisfaction.

2014 New Year's Goals

2014 New Year's Goals!!

My birthday and New Year's Day fall on the same day and as I say every year it always adds some gravity to the day because not only does a new calendar year start but a new year of my own life starts as well.  I wanted to make some of my goals for this year public so here are my top ten:

1.  My first goal is a big running goal.  I want to run 447 miles; that is the North-South length of Florida.  If I run 50 weeks of the year that works out to be a bit over 9 miles a week.  Doable but definitely not a casual goal.

2.  Swim 10 miles.  Last fall I took an adult swim class and I really liked working on that skill.  In order to improve on that I'd like to swim about once a week or so.  10 miles is about 15 laps of the pool at the YMCA each week.

3. Bike 100 miles.  Brandon has really inspired me with his triathlon training and I want to bike to strengthen my legs and improve my running.  Brandon thinks this goal could be achieved in only a few months.  If that is true then I will adjust my goal.

4. Back squat 200+ pounds.  I am so close to reaching this; a few weeks ago I squatted 185 lbs but it might take me all year to get to the 200 Club.  I also want to improve on my depth in squats.

5. Bench press 150 lbs.  Right now my 1-rep max is 125 lbs and I think with consistent work I can get it to 150 by the end of the year, if not earlier.

6. Jump 14 inches.  Box jumps are really hard for me.  Because of the tendinitis my left leg is a lot less strong than my right (don't believe me?  Ask me to hop on my right foot, then the left.  The difference in height is ridiculous.)  Also, box jumps are terrifying to me.  I'm afraid I'll fall and skin my shins.  I'm afraid that I'll fall in front of everyone.  I'm afraid of hurting my Achilles more than it already does hurt.  

I. Do. Not. Like. Box. Jumps.

So right now I can jump a bit less than 10 inches and I'd like to be able to clear a foot by the end of the year.  Brandon thinks I should try for 20 inches but let's just take it one bumper plate at a time.

7. Run a sub-30 minute 5K.  Right now on my best day I run a 5k in about 33 minutes.  Again, that is my best day.  I plan on cutting my race calendar and my pocketbook some slack and say that any workout of 3.1 miles is eligible for this goal; not just a chip-timed race.  I'll take a picture of my Garmin watch when I reach this goal.

8. Run 3 half-marathons.  Right now I have three half-marathons on my calendar: the Albany Half on March 1st, the Disney Wine and Dine in November, and the Reindeer Run in December.  

9. Finish my dissertation.  I am ready to graduate and move on with my life.  I am ready to have a career, not just working while I also try to graduate.  I also know that the further away I get from school the harder it will be for me to finish.  I'm also tired of this hanging over me like a guillotine.  I'm ready to pack this part of my life up and move on to other goals and parts of my life.  

10.  Go scale free.  No more daily or even weekly weighing myself.  A lot of goals this year are about improving something I already do.  I want to try to track my progress (like running faster) which has very little to do with whether or not I weigh 2 pounds less than I did the week before.  I also hope that by focusing on these goals the weight will kind of take care of itself.  

I will have other ways of measuring changes in my body.  On Monday I am going to my CrossFit box to get my body fat percentage and tomorrow Brandon is going to weigh me, write the number down, and put it in an envelope.  If I want to I will look at it on New Year's 2015.  I also want to measure inches and I'll take some pictures for my own interests but otherwise I'm putting the scale away for the year.

(yes, that is my first attempt at adding text to a picture)

Cheer me on!!

Christmas Christmas Spectacular

"Crazy Christmas Spectacular" is a very popular Tumblr tag right now and ever since I saw it on my husband's blog I've fallen in love with it.

And that is what our life has been for the past three weeks: A Crazy Christmas Spectacular.

Eggnog, hot chocolate, making sugar cookies and decorating them with my bestie, Christmas movies, Christmas television specials (did you see the one with Lady Gaga and The Muppets?  It was incredible), Christmas singing and carols.  One night there was a Sunday school party, tonight there is caroling and a chili supper, last Sunday there was the Church Christmas pageant that Brandon directs, and this weekend there is Disney Christmas.  That's all before the actual event and Eve happens.

This weekend Brandon and I ran a Christmas race: the Reindeer Run in Thomasville.  I ran a 5K with a great time (34:48) and Brandon ran his first official half marathon (2:07).

This is us celebrating after the race.  We later went to Waffle House because nothing is quite as satisfying after a big race as copious amounts of breakfast food.

The other thing I've done a lot of this Christmas and Advent season is baking.  I love to bake, especially at this time of year because this is when you break out your best recipes.  

First is the gingerbread cake.

I made this recipe from Thibealt's Table.  I've already made this cake twice in a week.  The second time with dark brown sugar and I think that made it even better.  I made the caramel sauce from the recipe and felt like that was overkill.  I made fresh whipped cream both times and felt like that was a great compliment to this cake which is dark, moist, and very satisfying.  

  

The second thing I made were sugar cookies.  This recipe was great.  It requires a lot of butter but no chilling needed and the lines came out perfectly crisp and there was no spreading or bloating from the cut cookies to the cooked cookies.

These are just some of the ones I decorated yesterday with my friend, Jenn.  Look at the snowflake on the far left.  The lines are perfect.

This is a cookie of my dog, Jackson:

Last week I found a tick on him for the first time in our six year history.  This cookie commemorates that.  See the red hot candy near his tail?  It's supposed to be the tick.

Right now this just came out of the oven for tonight's chili dinner:

I used Nigella Lawson's Spruced Up Vanilla Cake.  My house smells incredible.  I'll you know how it tastes after tonight!  

The Season of Waiting

Today both at home and at church Brandon and I started celebrating Advent.

I did not grow up celebrating Advent but as an adult, I have learned to find it quite comforting.  Among all of the parties and decorating and final exams and work, this idea of Christmastime as a season of quiet, obedient waiting is both challenging and comforting.

It also feels appropriate as days grow shorter and the darkness extends.  One of the emphases of Advent is that Christmastime is about a "Silent Night."  Advent, for me, is about how in a world that is dark and still and silent- separated from God by sin- a world that doesn't even know that it is kept apart from its Creator, is in a place of waiting; a place of marking time, hoping for a Savior.  This time of Advent is a reflection of how Jewish communities before Christ were waiting and hoping for the return of their Messiah.

Christians once called the Christmas season a 'time of perpetual hope.'  Hope for a miracle, for a King who would bridge the gap between humanity and God.

I am looking forward to participating in this year's Advent.  I am looking forward to reflecting on what it must have been like to try and wait for the fulfillment of promises, of Scriptures, with hope instead of anxiety.  

October Recap!

This is a brief, but awesome, about my life during October 2013.

Firstly, I've been a knitting-fiend lately.  I've been making these adorable pumpkin hats for my nieces, nephew (who has not gotten his yet), and a friend.

Check out these cuties wearing their hats:

This my 'fresh from the oven' niece, Emi Lou, wearing her hat.  It's sized for a toddler but she'll get to wear it for a couple more years this way.

This is CeCi wearing her pumpkin hat:

Brandon and I also ran a Trick or Trot, sponsored by our local 4H.  Brandon ran as Donald Duck and I went as Richard Simmons!  Brandon's hat was one from the 80s that I think belonged to my brother.  I made his Donald Duck shirt.  The Richard Simmons costume is made from some short shorts (thanks Julie), a wig, and a red tank top onto which I painted "Sweating to the Oldies."   I won an award for funniest costume!

I tweeted my costume at Richard and he replied to me!  He said I looked adorable.

We also went to Disney for Mickey's Not so Scary Halloween Party but a review for that will be its own post.

Rest? No thanks.

I'm sitting here on the couch, about to start grading my students' essays, with a frozen water bottle tucked into my pants along the outside of my thigh.

IT band pain.

It's pretty common in runners.  It's a tendon that runs along the outside of your leg and it gets tight for a lot of people.

For the past ten days I've had hip-flexor pain and for the past 18 months my Achilles tendinitis causes me to wake up stiff and hobbling every morning.  All of this on my left leg and I know all of it is somehow connected.  I'm trying to find a sports massage therapist here in town but I'm still waiting for who appears to be the only one to call me back.

So right now I'm running, swimming, and CrossFitting a lot and most of the time I am managing some kind of injury.  Training with an injury means pain or discomfort on a pretty regular basis. And all of the information I find online tells me to rest.  Rest your muscles.  Rest your joints.  Rest your tendons.

I just can't do this.  I can't rest.  Even on most of my 'rest days' I still go on long walks.  I take rest days once or twice a week.

But resting to repair an injury or overuse issue is different than a  regular rest day; they're not scheduled.  Taking a rest day because I'm hurting is incredibly hard for me to do; it makes me feel like I'm missing valuable training.

But more than risking the loss of any progress, it makes me feel worried.

Worried that I will lose important gains or get slower or come back weak.  As a heavier, slower athlete losing any speed puts me back at 12 minute miles when I've worked so hard to get to 11:20/mile speeds.

Mostly I worry that I'll gain weight.  I've maintained a 50 pound weight loss for 5 1/2 years now and my total loss is around 75 lbs.  I'm at my lowest weight since my senior year of high school and I look great in my jeans.  I'm faster, stronger, and generally more awesome than ever before.  Exercise is a big part of that success and maintenance.  If I stop exercising, even for a few days or a week, I worry that the scale will move up ten pounds.  I also use exercise to control my eating, meaning that I eat to support my workouts and avoid certain foods because they cause me to lift less or run slower, so if I stop exercising I find it a lot harder to resist pizza, burgers, and cake.

So essentially I'd rather be injured and in pretty constant discomfort than risk gaining some weight back.  I believe that training for races and other events has been the thing that let me lose and maintain a weight loss.  The idea of giving that up, even for a few days or a week, is really disconcerting.  Shoot, actually it's really scary.  I'm swimming more as a way of losing and maintaining my weight but I know in my heart I'm a runner and a CrossFitter.  Swimming, while good, isn't as satisfying.

How do you deal with this?  Is rest hard?  In our world of busy-ness and where people glorify a packed calendar how do you make time to do something that might heal you but also might set you back?  

My wedding dress

So a bit over a month ago I married Brandon.

Best. Decision. Ever.

Our wedding was very much tailored to our individual tastes and interests.  I had my dress custom made out of my mother's dress.  Brandon wanted to wear a suit, no tuxedos.  I wore glitter shoes.

I'm adding this picture because you can see my shoes and that I had my dress monogrammed.  That was a really cool part about hiring a seamstress to make my dress for me; she added all of these kinds of custom details that I would never have gotten at a store.  Also, I can say that my dress was one of a kind, and couture!  

My mother was married in the 1970s and had a long lacy train and bodice.  The seamstress took the lace off of my mother's dress and then pieced it together to make my bodice.  It looks like one piece of fabric but it is actually dozens of smaller pieces of lace stitched up together.

As you can see I also did not wear a traditional longer veil.  I wore a type of birdcage veil that I ordered on Etsy.  I knew for years that I wanted a shorter, less formal dress and a long veil didn't feel right with that dress.  I also knew that I wanted a dress that showcased my shoes.  I've been collecting glitter shoes for years and when Brandon and I got engaged they were the first thing I bought for the wedding.

I would recommend that any bride consider getting a dress custom made.  It was a fantastic experience.  I knew that as a plus-size woman I wouldn't have a lot of options at a David's Bridal. or other larger retailer.  I also knew that smaller boutiques wouldn't necessarily carry my size.  Traditional shopping didn't seem like a good choice for me.  When I first met with the seamstress I brought in pictures from maybe a dozen dresses to show her exactly what I wanted.  Having my dress made allowed me to use all of my favorite ideas rather than sacrifice a lovely neck line for a shorter hem, or limit my color choices because I wanted three-quarter sleeves, etc.

Another wonderful thing was the cost.  This did not cost a fortune; not even close.  My family paid a bit over $600, which is only $50 dollars more than the average David's Bridal off-the-rack dress.  This cost is also several hundred dollars less than the estimated $1,100 average dress price.  Boutique dresses can cost $3,000-5,000 easily.  This cost included labor, fabric, and the dozen or so alterations she made.  I lost some weight, didn't originally like the sleeves, wanted the bodice to fit a bit more snug around the waist, etc.  At David's Bridal you pay for alterations by the piece; meaning they are not included in the $550 average cost of their dress.  

Finally, I really appreciate that I got to make my dress out of my mother's dress.  My mother was a smaller woman when she got married so wearing her dress as it was wasn't a choice for me; it wouldn't fit me.  Also, her dress was beautiful but not my taste.  I knew I wanted to include my family's heirlooms and this allowed me to take something older and make it my own.  Additionally I wore my paternal grandmother's earrings. Brandon proposed with my maternal grandmother, Nananette's, engagement and wedding bands that I wore as an engagement set.  He got me my own wedding band; again, this blend of the historical heirloom and something that is uniquely mine.  

I love my dress.  I love the short, Swing-Era shorter hem, I love that it fit me perfectly, and I love that it was made special for me.  If you're engaged and still shopping for your dress, consider finding a seamstress to make it for you.  It was a wonderful experience and I would recommend it to anyone.

Why don't I blog more and what's been happening as of late...

Brandon and I are getting ready for married life and June 29th cannot get here fast enough.  We're almost a month away and we are ridiculously excited.  

Since the last post Brandon bought us a house!  It really was a God-thing.  We decided we wanted a home in Brandon's home town, an older home with some charm, and we wanted a big front porch.  We went and saw about a dozen homes, I became enamored with a four-story mansion from 1900 that didn't even have a fridge.  We saw homes with holes kicked in the wall and we saw a piece of property that had mobile home hook-ups but no carpet.  It was a rough search...

Until we found the house.  It was being sold by an older woman who was getting married later in life to a widower and wanted to sell her home easily.  It had a huge porch, the size of a bedroom, was built in 1946, and was in Brandon's home town inside city limits.  I really believe it was a God-thing because the home never even went for sale.  Brandon's aunt found out about the upcoming wedding and told her we were looking for a home.  We went and saw the home, felt it was a great fit, and then she offered it to us at below the appraisal because she liked Brandon and I's family.  

This is us on our new porch after we got the keys.

Another great achievement is Brandon competed in his first triathlon.  He had been training for it for three months.  I really found watching him train like that very inspiring and encouraging.  It displayed a lot of tenacity and determination; he had a very specific schedule to get ready and he got in all of the training workouts he scheduled.

I was so proud of him when he finished.  

Otherwise things are busy, busy, busy with wedding stuff, packing up my house, moving us both into the new house (Brandon's already moved in, I'll be there after the wedding), and selling my house.  There is a lot to do, which is why posting is so infrequent, but it is all very exciting.

Also, a garage sale on Saturday!

http://www.yardsalesearch.com/yss-garage-sale.jsp?id=52557363

Click this link for my address and a list of what's for sale.

Some items for sale:
Total Home Gym
Books
DVD player and DVDs
Mikasa Italian Countryside plates and dishes
Glasses and cups
furniture
Women's clothing 8-12 and 18-20
Men's clothing
Women's shoes size 8-9
Sewing patterns and fabric, most of which is uncut
Yarn
Fire pit
Crafting supplies

Recent Adventures

This spring has turned into one of the best, maybe the best, in my young years.  The wedding is only about 80 days away now and I can. not. wait.  The wedding planning is going smoothly.  This weekend Brandon and I got to test our wedding cake options.  That was by far the most fun of all of the wedding planning.  We're 90% sure that our bottom tier will be almond (the baker's version of yellow cake with buttercream frosting), the middle tier will be a yellow cake with pineapple filling, and the top tier will also probably be almond with buttercream frosting.

Easter was a lot of fun.  Here's my favorite picture from that day.  Isn't he handsome with his bowtie?  Good grief that man is good looking.



Otherwise we've been having a lot of fun.  We went to my first Drive By Truckers' concert last month.  Brandon is a really big fan and has seen them several times.  I enjoyed the concert a lot but the really cool part was watching him get all giddy telling me about his favorite band.  It reminded me of when we first started dating.

Aren't we just adorable?  Really, we're uncommonly good looking people.

The concert was really fun.  It was at a baseball stadium and the band was in the middle of the field while the audience was in the stands.  This means that even though we were on the very first row we were still 40 feet away from the band.  It was a weird set-up but it was still really cool.  The power went out to the main-stage in the very first song so for about ten minutes the band went around and visited with fans while the crew worked on the issue.  Brandon got to fist-bump Patterson Hood, one of the main singers and guitarists.  I don't think he's washed his hand since then.

This period of dating and engagement has been so much fun.  I am looking forward to June 29th but still trying to relish this time before we are husband and wife.  There is something about waiting to see each other that creates an anticipation that once we are married and living together most of that will be gone.  I won't have to until the weekend to see him; I'll have to wait until we get home from work.  There is something different about this time that I want to savor because once we're married it will be gone.

Mason Jars

I feel like I'm going to go all 'Joan Crawford' on somebody every time I see a wedding idea with a mason jar.

They. Are. Everywhere.

Candle holders, pew decorations, lanterns, cookie cutters shaped like the famous 'Ball' logo, vases, invitations with the image embossed on them, used as glasses, turned into 'the theme of your wedding' snow globes, etc.

Mason jars are everywhere.  There is not a thing wrong with these glass jars.  People seem to love them and that's great.

For them.

But, if you don't want mason jars at your wedding, man, you are out of luck.  Just look at Pinterest and you'll see what I mean.

My cat, Simon

Since the engagement I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what parts of my single life will stay the same when I get married and which parts I will need to change when I pair my life with Brandon's.  Two of the things that will change are CrossFit and my job.  I'll also be moving from Tallahassee to a town that doesn't have a stoplight.  However, I will continue running and lifting, I will continue teaching history to college students, and I will continue to spend as much time with my best friend as I can.

But there will a significant change and I'm trying to do the best with it now that I can.

I won't be taking my three cats, Idget, Simon, and Baxter, with me to Norman Park.  I have a lot of reasons for not doing so and while this is a difficult decision it is not one I took on lightly.  I have made tentative but promising arrangements for Baxter and Idget but nothing yet is looking good for my cat, Simon.

So, dear friends and readers, please consider helping my cat by making room for him in your home.  He's a 9 year old neutered male.  He's a real cuddler and will want to be near you if not right next to you.  This is a picture of him in my lap.

When I first got Simon he was meant to be a companion cat to Idget.  Nine years ago I moved into my first apartment and between school and work I spent a lot of time gone and Idget was clearly bored and bothered by my absence.  I found an ad for a kitten in the music building on UF's campus and knew this was a good choice.  It turns out the person who found him found Simon in a trash bag inside a trash can.  The kitten's howling drew attention and he was rescued.  

For years he and Idget were clearly best friends but in the past nine months Simon's status in the house has changed.  I don't know if it is because of his age or a change in his behavior but when once Simon's position in the house was as a firm alpha, he is now bullied by my other two cats and excluded by them.  He is very unhappy and it is in his best interest that he find another home even if I wasn't getting married.

He would be a good match for someone who either does not have a cat or who has only one other cat.  As an older cat he would not be a fifteen or twenty year commitment like a kitten is and has the maturity to not be destructive like a younger cat could be.  But don't let his age fool you- he is a fiend for a laser, stuffed toy on a string, and loves to chase and pop bubbles!  

If you're interested in adopting Simon I will make this a no-hassle experience for you.  He will be up-to-date on vaccinations and I'll send you home with a litter box, some litter, some flea treatments, and a couple of weeks worth of cat food.  

Please consider giving this genuinely sweet cat a place in your home.  My home is no longer best for him and I need to consider what may make him happier and that may be your family.